If there’s one mistake that a lot of women make when it comes to relationships, it’s wanting to be in one so badly that they don’t really pay attention to if it’s actually healthy or not.
And what’s one telling sign that a relationship is leaning on the side of “not”? It’s when it’s reached a point where it’s really not going anywhere. Where things are basically routine and you’re going through the motions but you don’t really see any signs or indicates of real progress.
We get that if you’re not looking for these signs, this might be a bit challenging to detect. That’s why we wanted to provide you with a very telling list of how you can know, for sure, that the relationship that you’re currently in is headed nowhere. And so you should strongly consider leaving it.
1. It’s not moving forward
Have you ever head the saying “stagnant water stinks”? Greater words could not be spoken when it comes to a relationship that’s going nowhere. If you’ve been together for at least several months and no plans for the future have been discussed, that is not something to ignore or take lightly. So please don’t.
2. He’s arrogant
It is really hard to be in a progressive relationship with an arrogant person. That’s because they are going to try and find all sorts of ways to make the relationship be all about them. If you’re dating this kind of person, you’re in for a real roller coaster ride. And not the fun kind either. And how can you tell if they are truly arrogant? Listen for how many times they talk about themselves. (You might want to see how many selfies they have up on their Instagram too!)
3. You’re not totally attracted
Everyone deserves to be with the kind of person who didn’t have to convince themselves to be with them. That said, relationships are hard enough without you having to talk yourself into finding your man attractive. If that’s how you’ve been feeling lately, the future is looking pretty grim.
4. You’re into him more than he’s into you
It’s a myth that relationships are 50-50. For the successful ones to last, you both have to be willing to give it all that you’ve got. If you’re all in and he’s not…yeah, that’s not good.
5. He doesn’t make time for you (unless it’s totally convenient for him)
It’s a wise person who once said that you deserve to be with someone who sees you as a priority and not an option. Hey, all of us are busy. It’s not about if he “has time” but if he’s willing to make time. And you know what? If he values you, he will.
6. You usually do most of the (relationship) work
Relationships require daily maintenance. Phone calls. Texting. Checking in to make sure that needs are being met. So take a moment and think about who is doing most of these things…most of the time. If that’s you, something is wrong.
7. He doesn’t support you
Another benefit of being in a relationship is you have someone who has your back during the good times and the not-so-good times. If when you reach out to your man, he brushes you off, is insensitive to your feels or worst of all, isn’t available, ask yourself something: Is it really worth it to keep making yourself so available to him?
8. No one in your life likes him
No one is saying that you need your family and friends permission to be in a relationship, but if basically no one has anything positive to say, be cautious about taking on the whole “You and me against the world” approach. Oftentimes people can see things from the “outside in” that you don’t. And when you’re confident that these kinds of people care about you, their opinion is worth listening to. Trust us on this one.
9. You never discuss the future
The reason why the couple in this picture were able to get to the proposal phase is because they actually planned their future. Being in love is not just about having feelings but putting goals for the relationship in place. When’s the last time you and yours discussed the future?
10. You fight a lot
Is fighting (and by that we mean “arguing”) normally in a relationship? To a certain extent, yes. You and yours are not the same person which means you’re going to have different perspectives and points of views from time to time. But if all that you’re really doing is fighting with one another, that’s a red flag. The reason why is because it usually speaks to either extremely poor communication skills or a lack of compatibility. And if you’re not compatible with one another, why be together?
11. He’s (any type of) abusive
Unfortunately, there are a lot of women who remain in abusive relationships whether the abuse is physical, emotional mental or even sexual. The reason why this is on our list is because if you’re in this kind of relationship, not only is it headed nowhere but there’s a chance that it could kill you in the process. Literally. There really is no good or beneficial reason to remain in an abusive relationship with someone.
12. Sex is all you have in common
Sex should be a part of a relationship but it shouldn’t be all that you and he have going. If you pretty much don’t have anything in common but good sex, we hate to be the bearer of bad news but that’s not the indication of having a great (or healthy) relationship.
13. Or the sex sucks
On the other hand, sex is something that should be a beneficial experience for both people. Although it shouldn’t be the main or only part of a relationship, if you are sexually active and unhappy…that’s a red flag too. Discuss what’s not working and try and make some changes. If you don’t see any after a few months, it’s time to revisit if this is something that you want to be in long-term.
14. You’re bored
Relationships aren’t meant to be all parties and fireworks every day. But there should be something in it that you find intriguing, that challenges you to grow and stimulates you mentally and emotionally. Does that sound like anything and everything but your relationship? If that is indeed the case, take out a moment to ask yourself “Why am I in it?” then.
15. You keep trying to change him (or he keeps trying to change you)
Relationships should improve the people in them but not through the pressure of each people trying to change the core of the other’s being. If you feel like you’re not celebrated for your own individuality or that you’re always nagging him to alter who he is, that’s not fair to either one of you. Cut your losses and…move on. On to someone who loves you both just the way you are—and wants to build a future based on that and that alone.