There are a lot of people who want to fall in love for the experience. However, what many of them don’t realize is that one of the most beneficial things about it is actually the lessons that you learn. About love. About life. About the opposite sex. And most importantly, about yourself.
If you feel that you are ready to be a student of love, here are some things that you should be prepared for it to teach you all the way.
1. How to compromise
Any married couple will tell you that if you don’t want to compromise in a relationship, you need to stay single. No matter how attracted you might be or how head over heels that you might feel, there is no possible way that a relationship is going to work, or last, without compromise.
2. To not be disillusioned by chick flicks (or fairy tales)
Chick flicks are not real life. They are fiction (at least most of them). And fairy tales? Have you ever checked out the definition of the word? One of them is “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief”. Waiting for your Prince Charming is cool and all. Just remember that once a movie is over or a fairy tale is done, you never really know what happens next. And sometimes, it’s that reality that’s most important.
3. How to keep your business private
Social media is one of the best things that ever happened to us when it comes to wanting to connect with family members and friends and also doing some guerrilla marketing. But when it comes to keeping people out of your personal business? It has been the death of many relationships. Please make sure yours isn’t one of them. It’s OK to keep some things super private. Wise, in fact.
4. How to trust
If people have hurt you before, it can be hard to trust people now. But you need to be able to open yourself up to that kind of experience. Vulnerability can be a really scary thing but it can also help you to grow as well.
5. To say what you need (and not beat around the bush)
No matter how close you may be to someone or how much chemistry the two of you may share, it’s unfair to expect them to read your mind. Being in a relationship can help to give you more of a voice—to say what you need, unapologetically so.
6. To be less selfish
A lot of relationships crash and burn all due to one thing: SELFISHNESS. You cannot be in a healthy relationship with someone while trying to make everything be all about you all of the time. Remember that.
7. To take personal responsibility
A lot of times, being in a relationship with someone is a lot like looking into a mirror. It can “reflect back to you” areas where you need to become better or even simply grow up. If when you make a mistake or do something wrong, you’re not willing to take responsibility for it, not only could that make your relationship stagnant but it could possibly and ultimately bring it to an end.
8. How to be patient
Not everything is going to go your way. Even more importantly, not everything is going to happen in the time that you want to. This is even more so the case when what you want and when you want it involves another person. If you’ve been wishing that you could become more patient and you’re in a relationship, baby you’ve just gotten your wish!
9. How to forgive
Although it would be awesome if everyone was perfect, you’re not and neither is your boyfriend. This means that there are going to be times when you’re going to need to forgive him for saying or doing the wrong things. While sometimes it may not be easier, it will make you and the relationship stronger if you do.
10. To listen (better)
When it comes to communication, unfortunately a lot of people tend to be caught up in their own monologues rather than actually dialoguing with their significant other. If you’ve ever heard that the first lesson of love is to listen, in many ways the person who said that is quite right.
11. To own up to your crap
If your boyfriend calls you out, in a loving way, don’t run from it. Own it. When someone loves you, they want what’s best for you. This includes becoming the best kind of person that you could possibly be.
12. To put someone else before you
This basically goes along with not being selfish, although there is a twist. When your sweetheart needs something that requires you putting your needs on the back burner, just so long as they are willing to do the same thing for you (and that is key!), be open to it. Real love sometimes means making real sacrifices.
13. How to know what you really want in a relationship
If you were to get a room of single people together and ask them what they wanted in a relationship, we promise you that you’re going to hear limited responses in comparison to what a room full of folks who are already in a relationship would tell you. That’s because one of the best ways to know what you want is by experiencing a relationship for yourself, discovering more about your needs and then doing a bit of “tweaking”.
14. How to communicate (better)
Tons of divorces happen every year simply because two people are not connecting well through communication. To read more about how to communicate more effectively, click here.
15. How jealousy can destroy a relationship
If you’re someone who tends to have a jealousy streak and you decide to bring it into the relationship, you’re going to learn quick, fast and in a hurry just how much drama and damage it can bring into it. Loving someone is one thing. Expecting them to not talk to anyone of the opposite sex, accusing them of things without any solid evidence or wanting them to coddle you through every single insecurity that you have is something totally different.
16. To let go if one of you isn’t happy
As you mature in your relationship, something else that it will hopefully teach you is how to love your own self more. And better. When that happens, you’ll find yourself not wanting to stay in anything that calls you to question your value, waste your time or hinder your growth. Yes, sometimes a relationship is actually all about teaching you to let go—of the very one you’re in a relationship with.
17. What love really is
Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a daily choice to choose to work on all of the things that we discussed with the person you’re in a relationship. And the more you commit to the process, the more insight you’ll get into the purpose of love and all that it is truly meant to be.
